What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
