The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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