exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
