I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
