Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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