It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I intend to get homeless drunk
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
