found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
