So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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