Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
