actually, I'm a sock model
She is in my trunk
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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