Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
