True but thats because hes a fetus.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
