watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
