I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
