I accidentally had phone sex last night
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just want to make out with him forever
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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