Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
