In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
