my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
