just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
