everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
