holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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