Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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