sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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