True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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