I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
