I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
