I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
