Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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