I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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