she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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