I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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