guys are only as good as the porn they watch
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Randomize
