God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
