maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i wish my penis had a tongue
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
