ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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