I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
