it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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