im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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