I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
