you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's official drugs can't kill me
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
