he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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