I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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