I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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