if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
