i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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