Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
