you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
