is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
