My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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