I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
